The ultimate guide for meaningful conversations on the Internet

by Victor Dodon

Did you ever feel like your conversations on the Internet don't go the way you expect them to go? Like you thoughts don't seem to be understood or took into account by your opponents? Here's the ultimate guide for meaningful conversations on the Internet which will allow you to win any argument and solving any problem:

  1. When some kind of celebrity attacks something or someone you like, always question their relevance as a celebrity (e.g.: "I thought they stopped being relevant like 10 years ago") or say that they are losers (e.g. "After breaking up with the band, he only did shitty covers")
  2. When someone (not a celebrity) attacks something or someone you like, never address the substance of the issue, always attack the person back (e.g. look up their YouTube profile and find any kind of liked pop song or band and say "go back and listen to your ") or say they did nothing important with their life (e.g. if someone said that an album of a band you like is weak, just ask them to show you how a good album is made).
  3. What you like is always the best, so if anyone doubts that they're losers and have no idea what is good, beautiful or right so you have to make sure that they know that by insulting them. Bonus points for using any of the following words: cunt, loser, bitch, pussy, idiot, retard.
  4. Never use facts when expressing your opinion and never ever try to listen and understand facts and logical arguments! Reality does not matter, only matters your gut feeling 'cause we know that following your emotions, fears and misconceptions is always the best solution and they create your reality!
  5. Never ever try to put yourself in your opponent's shoes and try to see things from their perspective, you always know everything and you can't possibly miss anything.
  6. Believe all conspiracy theories that you read about on shady websites because that makes you an independent thinker, unlike all the sheeple. Also check (4).
  7. You religion or lack of it is always righteous. If you're religious, always assume that your holly book ( be it Bible or Quran) it's perfect, without inconsistencies and that can be interpreted in any way you desire to suit your needs, and anyone who doesn't agree it's a degenerate. If you're atheist or anti-religious, always discard any believer's opinion, disregarding their validity, because we know they're never right.
  8. Always be ethnocentric, your way or your group's way of doing things is the only valid way and your values are the right ones.